Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
