So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
