Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize