I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
