you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
