we have officially lost it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
