I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
