Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
