woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
