No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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