ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
