69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
