Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(208): View more from Idaho

The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.

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(234): View more from Ohio

If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.

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(773): View more from Illinois

once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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(719): View more from Colorado

Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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(917): View more from New York City

Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol

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(903): View more from Texas

I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"

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