That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize