Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
