You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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