Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize