So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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