Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
false alarm, still single
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
