Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
