$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
