med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize