idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
