Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
