he wants to bone in the snuggie
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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