Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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