Your face is a jimmy john
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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