hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
