her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
