I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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