Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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