OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize