As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
