You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He? As in you personified your dick?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
