I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
