She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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