And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
