he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
