Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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