Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
