I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
