oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why did my mother make you get naked?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
