I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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