Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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