Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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