i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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