You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
