I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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