i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
