ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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