everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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