Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
