well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
