Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do herpes really smell.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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