jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
