He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
