So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
