You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
