I love black thongs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
