I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
