Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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