I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
