Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
